Everything Changed When I Became a Mom.

Once I became a mom the obvious changed, you were now caring for a life that was above your own. What I didn’t think would happen was my outlook on pretty much the whole world. Watching movies I used to love changed. Commercials became blubber fest and the way I now deal with situations is completely different. I didn’t know that my whole self would change in a second.

My husband and I were talking the other day about how our lives have drastically changed since the birth of our son. It got me thinking… How much has really changed? What changed? Is it for the better? So I decided to make a little list of everything that changed since our son was born.

1. The Obvious.

The big obvious one, we have a life to care for and raise the best we can. The best change we could ask for. Raising our little man to be the best he can is the most amazing awarding thing in the world. So this change is for the better. 100%

2. Quality Time.

The way I look at quality time now is different. I consider our quality time to be when we aren’t running errands or doing anything else that requires adulting or running around. A time when we can do what we want when we want as a family!

Before, as just a couple, our quality time wasn’t as cherished as it is now, and was a lot more frequent. It’s important to make time for quality time as a family or a couple.

The other night after Noah went down for the night, my husband and I made a bunch of appetizers, put all the blankets and pillows on the ground in front of the tv in the living room, pigged out and cuddled while watching a movie… it was awesome! It was quality time together as a couple!

3. Free Time.

I rarely get free time. But that’s okay. I enjoy every minute with my little man and I love spending time with my husband… I eagerly await him coming home from work… but the odd time when it just been a DAY, I miss some alone time. Not the time I get when the baby is sleeping because let’s be real, that’s not free time. There are dishes and laundry and general housework to be done. I appreciate my free time A LOT more now. When my husband is out with his friends or working late… I can paint my nails with no worries of the fumes… watch whatever I want on tv… I can just relax with a glass of wine and do whatever I want… It’s rare… but when I get it … oh it’s so nice.

4. Socializing.

Socializing after having a baby took a while to get used too. Like all new moms, after the baby comes, that’s all you can talk about.

There’s this weird adjustment where you have to consciously try and not talk about your baby and ask about other peoples lives. It’s hard. But not only do you have to try and not talk about your baby but once you ask about the other person’s life its hard to pay attention and listen because you are preoccupied with your baby, either listening for them or tending to them…

I remember shortly after Noah was born, maybe a month or two, we were over at our friend’s house for dinner and we decided to play cards like we always do… it was kinda our thing. Well, while we were playing, Noah needed to eat ( he was breastfed ) so I latched him on at the table and we kept playing. I remember the feeling I had when it was my turn to go and I was busy tending to Noah and didn’t realize it was my turn and everyone ( excluding my husband of course ) was giving me that look till someone was like “Maddie it’s your turn, GO!” That’s when my husband said, “Hello she’s tending to the baby” At that moment I think everyone realized that hanging out together was going to be different from now on.

There was a growing pain but not a long one. Socializing has gotten easier now, I’m not sure if it’s because my son has gotten older or if we have gotten better at multitasking? Either way, it’s good.

5. Viewing the world.

I thought I had a good grasp of the world. I thought I knew and understood it, for the most part. Then we had a baby. My view changed. Drastically. Old movies I loved weren’t the same anymore. Commercials made me cry. I started to actually listen to what was happening in the world for fear of having to protect my little baby. It felt like the world changed overnight.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. My husband and I were watching one of our favourite Christmas movies; Santa Clause with Tim Allen. I loved it. Then this past Christmas when we watched it, our son was about 7 months old, it was like I was watching a completely different movie.

The whole time we watched it all I could focus on was that he was being a TERRIBLE parent. He didn’t listen to his son, he didn’t take his son’s feelings into consideration, he was yelling all the time at his son… It was just a different movie.

It was so strange to watch the movie from a completely different perspective. Like most things now… it’s in a different perspective than before. I even notice it when having simple conversations with friends who don’t have kids.

6. Issues.

Having a child can put everything into a new perspective as I said above. That includes issues. So many issues don’t matter anymore. Things that would seem life altering are just not important now. And on the other hand… other issues are more important and are dealt with a lot sooner than they would have been before.

I find it hard sometimes to relate to some of my friend’s issues or problems who don’t have kids. Small things that seem trivial now.

7. Priorities.

Priorities change after having a baby. That’s it. That’s all. Your priorities now consist of providing and caring for this child. That it.

So parties and dinners with friends now come second. So please don’t ask a parent to go out to the movies or dinner at the last minute. It won’t happen… we need a babysitter and we will probably be too tired and won’t want to go anyway. We need at least a week’s advance notice, please.

8. Family Pets.

Our dog Teddy was my world. He was always glued to my hip. Always cuddling me. He went everywhere with us. I remember saying “I wonder if this is what it’s like loving a child because I can’t imagine loving anything more than I love Teddy.”

Well, once Noah was born that changed really fast. The moment we got home from the hospital I remember looking at Teddy and he was now just a dog. He was no longer the centre of my universe. He was just the family dog. He got demoted. He was now down a peg. Noah was number one. There was a bit of an adjustment period with Ted and Noah. Teddy had to learn that he wasn’t the centre of our attention now, However, he is still very loved. We make a point to give Ted some extra attention after Noah goes down to bed. Now their best friends… Noah loves Teddy and Teddy loves to follow Noah wherever he goes.

9. Purchases.

Before I had a baby I wouldn’t overly think about what I was buying! If I wanted it… I bought it. After having Noah, or even while I was pregnant, I noticed I would feel bad about getting something for myself or I would prefer to get something for Noah over myself. This isn’t a bad thing. I guess I’d rather get something for my baby over my self.

10. Getting Dressed Up.

When we were just a couple we would get dressed up all the time. Not necessarily to go out but to even have people over. We would always want to look our best… or I would always make sure to look my best.

Now, if we are having friends over for dinner, I’m normally a mess. My hair will be in a bun and I’ll be covered in food and water and everything else from Noah’s bedtime routine. Because, of course, having people over for dinner is always at Noahs bedtime, 7:00 pm. So when I get a chance to get dressed up it’s a super exciting time for me! I miss it… but I also don’t because I feel like it’s so time-consuming… I don’t have TIME for TIME-consuming lol. 😛

11. Sleep.

If you know me then you know I LOVE my sleep. I am not a night owl. I will gladly go to bed at 9 pm with no complaints. I also love to sleep in.  So that being said, I obviously had to change this a little bit once I became a mom. I never had a problem with getting up in the middle of the night with Noah, but getting up in the morning was different. I always try to sleep in or get my husband to take him on the weekends in the morning. This has been an adjustment that we are still working on lol. Especially when we have friends over or are going out for Date Night ( check out my Date Night In post ) … it doesn’t matter what time YOU go to bed, the baby will still get up at the same time. We are still learning this lesson lol.

Yes, life changed when I became a mom, but it wasn’t in a bad way. I love everything about it. If anything I feel like it has made EVERYTHING mean more. My time. My family. Moments. It all means that much more. It’s given me an appreciation for what I have and a new way to view this crazy world. Motherhood has been an adventure that I’ve never gotten tired of! Each day is another journey that I’m eager to see where it leads me!

People say that becoming a mom means you lose yourself. I think that becoming a mom means you find a whole NEW self. A self you might not know you had. A new version of yourself. I know it took me a little while to figure out who I was after becoming a mom but, in all honesty, I’m the same person! I might be updated but I’m still me. All that changed is my heart now walks on the outside! 🙂 <3